Friends with Benefits – Does it work?

We’ve all heard the term ‘Friends with Benefits’ before. Basically it’s friends who have casual sex with one another with no other strings or commitments. But is this really actually possible?

For a lot of women (and some men too), sex over time with a friend can often bring forward feelings of attachment, which of course is totally natural. So before beginning a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship, it is recommended that a series of “ground rules” be put into place beforehand; if nothing else than to prevent confusion down the road, which could hamper or even destroy the friendship as a whole.

Can the ‘Friends with Benefits’ relationship really work? Yes, it can with the right people and circumstances. Now there are a variety of “rules” you can find for such a relationship, but I’m going out outline my own set of ‘guidelines’

# 1: Both friends must be clear in what you want. To make your ‘friends with benefits’ relationship a good one, both must know what to expect from one another. Keep in mind there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution to this. What you need and expect might be different from each ‘friends with benefits’ relationship you have. It all depends on what each of you need at the time.

#2: Select your ‘friends with benefits’ friend carefully. This can be the most difficult part of the whole relationship, as the entire thing requires a specific balance. You need to be able to enjoy spending time with one another (both in a regular friends setting, as well as between the sheets), and that both of you are looking for the same thing in the relationship.

# 3: Create a set of Ground Rules. Every ‘friends with benefits’ relationship needs a clear set of boundaries. Sit down with one another and decide what will work best for the both of you.

# 4: Stick to the rules. Keep in mind it can be easy to get sidetracked. Perhaps you’re spending more time together than you should, or beginning to care more about the friend than you should at this level. Keep in mind the rules should always be followed, and only be broken if both decide to change the nature of the relationship.

# 5: End the relationship if things begin to get weird or too heavy. This type of relationship often has a very short life span and can often turn into something deeper for one or both friends. If things are beginning to feel weird between the two friends, or if deeper emotions are beginning to form, it’s time to end the ‘friends with benefits’ relationship, unless both friends are OK with these changes.