The topic of infidelity is often a hot topic and one that everyone seems to have an opinion on. But I’m going to drum up a little twist on this issue and pose a question. Is it still considered cheating if it’s flirting or role-play online?
Infidelity is defined as: “sexual unfaithfulness to one’s husband, wife, or lover”. Sexual unfaithfulness – that could be a broad range of things, so let’s take it a step further.
Sexual is defined as:
1. Of, relating to, involving, or characteristic of sex, sexuality, the sexes, or the sex organs and their functions.
2. Implying or symbolizing erotic desires or activity.
3. Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction characterized by the union of male and female gametes:
Well that really doesn’t make the whole thing any easier now does it? The whole debate all comes down to individual beliefs and what each individual would consider as infidelity. For some, infidelity might include everything sexual, physical, via the phone or even the Internet. So if this is the case, for these people, is watching porn even considered cheating.
For others, infidelity is anything sexual in a physical manner. This includes sexual penetration, all forms of oral sex, fondling, kissing etc with anyone other than your partner. There are others still who believe that you don’t have to become physical with someone for it to be infidelity. Emotional cheating is on the rise with the popularity of the Internet.
What is Emotional cheating? It layman’s terms, it’s when you come emotionally connected to someone other than your partner. You may really enjoy spending time with them, talking to them and sharing your thoughts and concerns with them. You enjoy being with them so much that you would rather spend your free time with them than your partner.
So now I go back to the question I posed at the beginning. If you are online, flirting and playing around sexually with someone, is this cheating? There is no physical contact, so that doesn’t play a role in the question. It all comes down to the emotional cheating aspect of infidelity.
Perhaps the two individuals don’t know each other beyond the Internet, and have no risk of ever meeting each other face to face, but feel a strong connection to one another. Perhaps the two individuals are friends and only play online for sexual release, and have no emotional connection to one another beyond that of regular friendship. Perhaps even still, the individuals are complete strangers from a random chat room, who both felt a little horny at the same time.
What could cause problems in a relationship is if one partner believes that online flirting and role-play IS cheating while the other believes it to be harmless fun, and being no more harmful than watching porn or reading erotica.
But the question remains, is it really harmful if you are flirting or playing online with someone if your partner doesn’t know about it? There are no performs or colognes to be smelled on you by your partner. No lies to make up about where you’ve been for the past few hours. No risks of STD’s or unwanted pregnancies. In the same breath, there has to be taken into consideration your partner’s feelings on the issue. Would they be hurt to learn you’ve been doing this? Would they care since there was no physical contact?
So as all things in the exciting, thrilling, wonderful and sometimes confusing as hell world of sex, what you thought was a cut and dry Yes or No answer, can easily turn into something with almost a life of its own. Just remember, that whatever you choose, in a relationship there is always someone else to consider beside yourself. .
