Sometimes I like to step back in time and think of how much simpler things used to be while I was growing up. There was no such thing as cable TV, so to keep entertained, my friends and I used to make up games to play outside.
Also back then, the phone performed one function and one function only, to talk to people. Do you remember those days? A phone was a huge black square or rectangle that was attached to the wall via a wire. This block had an interchangeable coiled wire that was connected to the receiver, the part where you listen and talk through. If your phone rang, there was a dedicated desk that this phone sat on, so that you can be comfortable while attached to the wall via a long wire, so that you can sit down and talk to whoever was at the other end. Back then we didn’t use the phone to talk to our friends to meet up, the phone was for adults to talk to other adults. We had to resort to.. GASP!!! Actually going outside and knocking on our friend’s doors to ask their parents if they could come outside and play.
Those of us lucky enough to have some money, had the Atari commodore, and some of us the earlier version with the two sticks that only went up and down to play some weird black and white version of tennis.
Back then there were no computers, no Internet, no social networks, no cell phones!!!!!. There was only black and white TV with only about 7 channels, and usually you would smack your little sister or brother on the head to get up and change the channel because there were no remote controls back then.
So what’s my point of all this. My point is simple this story. My girlfriend and I were celebrating our 2 month anniversary, and were in the middle of some hot passionate fucking, when all of the sudden both our phones go off. No, we did not stop having sex to check our phones, but we DID check them as soon as I was done planting my seed inside of her. We needed to go check who was trying to get in touch with us at 2am, that couldn’t wait for normal hours. Sad right? I think so. We checked our messages, went into the bathroom to clean up and get something to drink while we rested up for round two.
Now here comes the really, really, REALLY sad part of all this. We didn’t go back to bed and cuddle and make out like any other normal couple does. Nah, not us. We cleaned up, laid naked on the bed, and each of us were on our phones watching youtube or on facebook, myspace, or twitter for about a good hour!!!
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT!?!?!?! What? We didn’t have anything good to talk about it? We couldn’t make conversation? We had to get on our goddamn smart phones and check whatever the fuck it was that we ‘needed’ to check? Honestly, that could have waited, and it HAD to wait until we got to a computer to check the video that she wanted me to watch because “her friend was not my friend on facebook”, so I had no access to view her videos.
Honestly, what the fuck has this world come to?
So we started to get frisky again and decided to go for another round, AFTER we plugged in our phones to charge the batteries. We get all hot and bothered, we are going at it, and then we need lube for anal sex.. where’s the lube? All the way across the fucking room (don’t ask how it got there). We had to turn on the light, and move the sheets looking for the fucking bottle. By the time I got back to bed, my hard-on was gone and the moment was ruined. She was not so turned on, and I didn’t want to fuck anymore; so I just got her off with my mouth and fingers.
Now after all this was done, we are laying in bed ready to clean each other up, when we realize that all the fucking towels were in the bathroom, and most of them already used up to clean ourselves from the previous rounds.
So what have we learned from this? Put your phone on vibrate before you start fucking, or simply just leave them behind. Make sure all lube and toys or any other paraphernalia that you like to use is very close to your choice of location to do the deed, and have some towels ready if you are the messy couple.
Ok, I’m done with my rant. J
