Infidelity is defined as: “sexual unfaithfulness to one’s husband, wife, or lover”. Sexual unfaithfulness – that could be a broad range of things, so let’s take it a step further.

Sexual is defined as:

1. Of, relating to, involving, or characteristic of sex, sexuality, the sexes, or the sex organs and their functions.

2. Implying or symbolizing erotic desires or activity.

3. Relating to, produced by, or involving reproduction characterized by the union of male and female gametes:

Well that really doesn’t make the whole thing any easier now does it? The whole debate all comes down to individual beliefs and what each individual would consider as infidelity. For some, infidelity might include everything sexual, physical, via the phone or even the Internet. So if this is the case, for these people, is watching porn even considered cheating.

For others, infidelity is anything sexual in a physical manner. This includes sexual penetration, all forms of oral sex, fondling, kissing etc with anyone other than your partner. There are others still who believe that you don’t have to become physical with someone for it to be infidelity. Emotional cheating is on the rise with the popularity of the Internet.

What is Emotional cheating? It layman’s terms, it’s when you come emotionally connected to someone other than your partner. You may really enjoy spending time with them, talking to them and sharing your thoughts and concerns with them. You enjoy being with them so much that you would rather spend your free time with them than your partner.

So now I go back to the question I posed at the beginning. If you are online, flirting and playing around sexually with someone, is this cheating? There is no physical contact, so that doesn’t play a role in the question. It all comes down to the emotional cheating aspect of infidelity.

Perhaps the two individuals don’t know each other beyond the Internet, and have no risk of ever meeting each other face to face, but feel a strong connection to one another. Perhaps the two individuals are friends and only play online for sexual release, and have no emotional connection to one another beyond that of regular friendship. Perhaps even still, the individuals are complete strangers from a random chat room, who both felt a little horny at the same time.

What could cause problems in a relationship is if one partner believes that online flirting and role-play IS cheating while the other believes it to be harmless fun, and being no more harmful than watching porn or reading erotica.

But the question remains, is it really harmful if you are flirting or playing online with someone if your partner doesn’t know about it? There are no performs or colognes to be smelled on you by your partner. No lies to make up about where you’ve been for the past few hours. No risks of STD’s or unwanted pregnancies. In the same breath, there has to be taken into consideration your partner’s feelings on the issue. Would they be hurt to learn you’ve been doing this? Would they care since there was no physical contact?

So as all things in the exciting, thrilling, wonderful and sometimes confusing as hell world of sex, what you thought was a cut and dry Yes or No answer, can easily turn into something with almost a life of its own. Just remember, that whatever you choose, in a relationship there is always someone else to consider beside yourself. .

These days it seems it’s the polar opposite, and I have come to question is there anything that’s considered Taboo anymore? With porn becoming more mainstream in the late 1990s, it opened the erotic doors for many people, allowing them to indulge in what was previously considered taboo fantasy, and certain sexual subjects, such as anal sex, began to find its own niche not just in the adult industry, but for everyday folk in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

As the Internet gained popularity it not just opened the erotic doors for some people, but literally blew them off the hinges. Suddenly the world of the taboo is available at the click of a mouse, and thus in many ways desensitizing us from what was previously considered to be out of the norm in the ways of sex. Unexpectedly to some, what they may have previously considered to be dirty or an act they may have never considered before now has them curious. Even subjects such as 3-somes (either M/F/M or F/M/F), partner swapping, and even sex parties are now longer considered something you’d only see late at night on those “special” channels you had to pay extra for.

It’s the same with any topic, be exposed to it often enough, and your opinions change on said subject. But have we been over-exposed? I’m not saying that what’s happened is necessarily a bad thing, but if nothing is considered taboo anymore, what do we have left? What little secret fantasies can we keep to ourselves because we think others will consider us “not quite all there”, and being OK with that, because it was sexy, hot and the idea of it drove us wild!

If what we USE to consider Taboo is now the norm (or at least not AS frowned upon by society), where do we go from here? That is a question, I’m not really sure how I feel about. I mean, how much further can we really go when you think about it?  Words to ponder..

But there is also a form of role-play that can be equally as exciting, and you can do it anywhere you have access to the Internet – it’s sexual role-play online. It’s very similar to the role-play in the bedroom, as you take on a new role, but instead of acting it out physically, you develop this new persona through creative writing. It might take a little getting use to, but if you’ve ever had sex before, you will find that you can fall into the swing of things very easily, and it’s actually rather simple. Whatever you would normally do to your partner physically, you just describe with words instead. It may sound a little silly, but it can be rather exciting, but it’s not for everyone.

There are many methods to choose from to play out your role-play, bur first you need someone to role-play with! If you were in a relationship, than it would be fun to send sexy messages back and forth to one another throughout the day. Who knows, it might lead to other things when you get home!

Sexual role-play works best when it’s two sided, meaning whoever you’re sending the messages to, will be replying with their own role-play as well. You could use e-mail as your communication form if you wish (just make sure your e-mail isn’t monitored if you’re doing this at work!), and simply go back and forth, role-playing out a scene, and bouncing off each other’s reply. For example, a way to set up a scene could go like…

…*She opens the office door quickly and closes it behind her quietly, being careful that no one has spotted her. She knew he’d still be in his business meeting and wanted to surprise him. She quickly hides her bag and headed into his private bathroom to change. Pulling her red sweater off over her head, she lets it fall to the floor, before unzipping her jeans and slipping them down over her ass and hips, before stepping out of them. Under her clothing she wore an emerald green teddy complete with fish net stockings and a guarder belt. She reaches into her bag to pull out her stiletto heels, and slip them onto her feet. After taking a final look in the mirror, tossing her hair and re-applying her crimson lipstick, she was ready*…

You can choose to either write in first or third person, the choice is totally up to you, whichever you feel most comfortable as for your writing style. From there, the person you’re role-playing with would reply with his (or her) own reply based on what he wants his reaction to be. Remember, you don’t necessarily have to remain true to life here. It is role-play after-all, so feel free to be adventurous, and do things you may not normally do. You could even take it a step further, and create a character for yourself!

As your role-play evolves, if you’re the type of person who enjoys erotica, sexual short stories or letters, than you may find yourself becoming aroused. If you’re NOT the type who gets turned on by simply reading (you need visuals), than you may not find this type of role-play sexually exciting at all. Remember, I did say before, that this form of play might not be for everyone.

The role-play will be a series of going back and forth with one another. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know if you’re becoming aroused at all during the play, as this could help them become turned on even more. It’s always exciting to know that what you’re doing (even when its just typing out a story) is making your partner wet or hard, especially if they are doing this with while at work. (Defiantly adds that sense of naughtiness!!). For example…

Another tip that can be helpful is to not worry about being politically correct in your role-play. Don’t be afraid to use slang and dirty talk in your play, anything you know your partner may find hot. In my past experience with role-play, I’ve found that it can often add to the overall thrill. For example…

… *He wraps his lips around her hard nipple and begins to suck firmly, while the fingers on his free hand begin to slowly trail down her spine, making her shiver. His throbbing cock twitches against her inner thigh, as he pulls her closer to him, holding her in his strong arms, so happy that she decided to surprise him like this. After a few moments, he leaves her nipple, and slowly trails his tongue up her collar bone to her neck, leaning up and placing hot kisses along her neckline, while his free hand moves down over her hips, to move between her thighs, pressing his fingertips against her hot, wet pussy and teasing her clit, as his lips rest against her ear, breathing hot and whispers* “You’re so fuckin’ hot right now.. and so wet! …Mmmmm.. I just want to bend you over my desk and fuck you hard!”…

The main thing to remember with online role-play is to have fun with it. You’re not physically in front of each other, so your feel free to leave your inhibitions behind. Try things you’ve been curious about but never really knew if you’d like. Through role-play, you may find they excite you more than you originally thought, and you’d like to try them for real! Sexual online role-play can be a real eye-opener when learning about your partner, and even yourself!